Reflections on Those Moments in Time.... A story they said. Please tell me a story Grandpa. Reluctantly, shoulders pushed back, head tilted down, he spoke. "I can tell you a story, but it will not be a happy one." Tell us a story Grandpa, we don't care what kind. He was the greatest story teller they had ever known. Most Grandpas are, you know. "As you wish," he replied. He cleared his throat and held his head up high.
There were two brothers, Jack and Bobby. They were both teenagers in a Gender Neutral Scouting Organization together. They didn't always get along well. Sometimes, they fought like cats and dogs. But that never mattered, because they were family and would do anything for each other. The best of friends, and the worst of friends. They were a year apart and Bobby had been "the man of the house" since he was about 7. His little brother looked up to him so much. They were very good kids. Always ready to help someone without a second thought. They had great manners as well. Bobby was looked up to as a leader in the organization they belonged to.
Bobby had to become the man of the house when his father packed up and left them. He blamed it on their mother. She was quite peculiar and somewhat off in the head. One story was that she made the boys get dressed in front of her everyday, butt naked, so she could inspect them for ticks. Another was that she would make them take medication, even ones that were not prescribed for them. Or talk the doctor into giving them medication that would make them easier to manage for her, such as anti-anxiety or antidepressants. Another was that she tried to beat the "demons" out of them with sticks, belts, or even a whip. And they had no father to speak of. He moved a couple hours away.
That's just some background to give you some perspective. The boys had each other, and that was it.
One day Bobby decided to move away to live with his father. New home, new school, new friends, and new problems. He was no longer taking his antidepressant medication and became very emotional. You absolutely can NOT just cold turkey quit taking that kind of medication. That's when he began self medicating. Drinking beer and smoking weed. That's when things went terribly wrong. He got addicted to illegal substances and broke into a house and stole some things to sell. He was trying to pay off the drug dealer he owed. He go caught and was arrested. His parents bailed him out, but said it was his fault and they were not helping him anymore.
That's how I entered of the story. He called me one night. He was scared, and alone. He kept trying to make his normal jokes, but I could see right through them. I talked to him for hours. He had a court date set up and no lawyer or anything. He was living in a trailer in his fathers back yard. His stepmom would not let him live in the house. Going to high school and working part time to try and pay legal fees. He was off all his medications and his brain was on full overload. He thought it was the end of the world. Going to prison was the only thing he could see in his future.
The conversation went on and I did all I could to encourage and reassure him it was not the end of the world. That his story was far from over. Especially, since he was a minor. He could get some legal help from the state. He could ask for help with substance abuse. That by voluntarily seeking treatment a judge may drop all charges. He did have friends and family to help. That I understood and was not judging him. That he could get financial assistance. That he could text or call me anytime. I felt like we made some headway and he was moving in the right direction.
Where was Jack during all this? Jack had his own problems. He had been caught stealing money from a local business he frequented and sometimes helped out at. He was judged very harshly by the peers and parents in his social circles. They wanted the business owner to press charges against him with the Police, but the owner refused to. He only asked that he was paid back he $250 stolen from him. They realized there had been some money missing from the gender neutral scouting organization a month earlier and blamed it on him as well. Then they blamed him for some other money missing from the church they met at, even though it was months earlier. He admitted he had stolen from the business owner and completely denied the other two. When he was pressed about the reason for stealing the money he said he only did it to help his brother out. He said his brother was being threatened to pay the money he owed someone and he feared for his life. Basically, he gave the money to Bobby to pay off his drug debt.
Jack was attacked viciously. He was blamed for every penny and item that ever came up missing from the church and our group. When I spoke up Nancy told me there was nothing worse than a thief and he should go to jail. I pleaded with friends that he was just a child himself and needed guidance. That they should be lenient with him and try to help. At that point they began treating me like I was a plague. All because I asked them to have some empathy for him and his situation. They had many conversations about him in messenger groups and text. It was a big secret rumor mill. Finally, Jack was kicked from the scout group and the church he belonged to. Totally ostracized by the very people that should have been there to help him. He worked at the business part time and went to high school in order to pay off his debt. The owner kept him on as a full time employee after that. The last time I saw him was a chance meeting at Walmart of all places. He has a beautiful wife and a boy, named Bobby.
Bobby was in a pickle. But it was something he could get out of with a little work and support. I was sure of it. I was so sure I had saved up some money to help him out. I got a phone call from a friend about 2 weeks later. He asked me if I had seen the paper. He didn't say why, he just told me to look. So..... I did, and I was shocked. Horrified even! FRONT PAGE! Bobby had committed suicide. One bullet ended such an amazing young mans life. We heard there would be a service here for him that his mom was setting up. She asked if some of the scouts could be pallbearers since he was a part of their troop for so many years. Nancy hollered "NO! Absolutely not!" at the meeting. She proclaimed him to be the brother of a scumbag and a thief and she would not let her son be any part of the service. Several other parents agreed. I pointed out it is not for Jack, the one you have labeled a thief. It is for Bobby and his parents and other family. At one time Bobby was like family to the other scouts. Still she shrieked "NO! You can do what you want to, but my family and friends will have no part of it."
So there we were, sitting at the church. It was a closed casket funeral. I gave his mother all the condolences I could muster. I shook Jacks hand and neither of us could speak. To my joy I saw a large group of scouts, about 12, walk in together. I heard one of them saying "Do you remember that time Bobby........?" They were trading stories about camp outs. My faith was returning with every step they made. They were not being led by adults. They were there on their own, dressed in uniform for their lost friend. Every one of them shook Jacks hand and hugged his mother. Some of the adult leaders were there as well.
It was a nice small service. A huge FUCK YOU to Nancy service. Someone I had considered a friend for so long, but could no longer stand being in the same room with. Maybe the kids are more compassionate and empathetic than we give them credit for.
"Grandpa that was a sad story." Yes it is. All stories can't be happy. "What happened to Jack and his mother?"
Jack and his mom lost their house in a tornado and moved away several months later. I still see Jack in town every once and a while. I still see Bobby from time to time as well. Sometimes, when I close my eyes, or in a dream. That tall young man, with the big smile, holding the door for everyone and asking if we need any help on our way to the Scout meeting. ; His story is not over, as long as we continue to tell it.
