Monday, March 26, 2012


I am feeling a bit Skinny Puppyish this morning and I have been fueling my fires with Death Metal.  My mind literally jumps from topic to topic these days.  So hard to maintain any focused path.  These morning news shows on TV have given me reason to pause.  Are we heading for another civil war?  Will it be a racial or class war?  Will we be heading into WW3, or is this all just more propaganda and media bias to keep us separated?  A world divided, a country divided, a state divided, a community divided, a family divided..... "Define ..... The state of things."

Vile stench.  Decay.  Flesh rotting from the inside out.  Intentional.  Defects in the brain.  Atrophy.  Petrified.  Forrest grows.  Memories lost.  Once relished.  Voices call out from the past.  Unknown.  Unsettling.  Ghost like visions.  Anger mostly.  Pouring out.  Why can't I remember?  WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER!!!

Self infliction.  So painful.  Suicide.  Homicide.  Genocide.  Addiction.  Personality traits gone wrong.  Another day.  Decide.  The future is a scary beast.  Attacking.  Outcome unknown.  One last warrior.  Spirit.  See life through a child's eyes.  Perception filters.  Unbiased.  Untainted with regret.  Today is a good day.  Smiles.  Pure emotion.  Love.  LOVE!!!

There is still hope....... there is still hope..... there is still hope......

I know many people would read this and think "OMG he needs counseling, or some kind of help!"  My thoughts get dark sometimes, a lot here lately.  This is my counseling, this is how I get them out.  I will never need help, as long as I have outlet.  Keeping it inside is when things get scary.  I have hope, always have hope.

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