Thursday, January 12, 2012


It is a song title.  I am relating everything these days to music.  It is not really about this topic, but still a great song if you like dark, mind bending Hip Hop from a man that claims to be a crip and a real life cannibal.  His point is that somebody is always watching you.  When you least expect it they are going to take vengeance for all the horrible things you have done.  (If that bothers you, your conscience is talking and you may need to reevaluate your actions, just saying.)

Here is the point.  We have been working out at the YMCA for months trying to get into better shape.  That quitting smoking thing really killed me.  I gained like 40 pounds in about a year.  Healthier in one way, not in another.  "Oral fixation" they call it.  I constantly search for something to suck or chew on.  I actually think I am a lot better on that front now.  Knowing is half the battle.

So, about a week ago we went to the Y and could not find anywhere to park.  Then we got inside and all of the machines we like to use were full.  We tried several times of the day and they were still full.  I asked some of the people working there about it and they say it happens every year.  New Year's resolutions!  Then after a month or so people just start disappearing.  It has been about 2 weeks and there are still way too many people.  It is really starting to get aggravating.  It costs up $60 a month to be members.  Is that "acceptable" or "satisfying" when we can not even get to do what we want?  ;-)  No.

Here is what I have found and the reason I am so pissed off about this.  I was listening to this song when it hit me and I thought.....  "Nigga, I see you"  Standing there in your very expensive running shoes, very expensive workout outfit, expensive cutie workout jacket, expensive Nike or Addidas hat, wearing your little workout gloves (that match your outfit), with full makeup on, your hair did and full jewelry on.  You have been here every time I have 4 days a week for 2 weeks.  I have not seen you were the same outfit or shoes yet.  That is quite an investment in apparel and time.  Let me just say I am not only talking about the women either.  Guys do it too, just maybe not the makeup.

I can see your faces while you are reading this.  "What is your problem Jam, they just want to look good at the gym?"  Yep, that is it.  They just want to look good at the gym, because they are definitely not fucking working out.  They stand around and talk and gossip, "So how is your mama and 'em?"  They are standing there blocking the machines, or worse, pretending to be using the machine when they are actually just sitting on it.  I have watched people get on an elliptical machine or bicycle for a grand total of 3 minutes.  You can get more exercise getting off the couch, walking to the kitchen, grabbing a beer and walking back to the couch.

When I first noticed it I thought maybe it was just the single people looking for love.  Nope, most are married.  The women really seem to take pride in blinding people with their wedding rings at every chance.  Then I thought that it is possible that 3 minutes is all you can do since you are so out of shape.  Nope, one lady was talking about how she ran 3 miles every morning, then came to the gym every evening. 

In closing, what does it all mean?  I was always told you had to have a closing paragraph in English class and here it is.  I really don't know what it means, but I really wish you people would go the FUCK outside or at least to the hallway with all the chitter~chatter and bull shit.  Some of us really do want to use that $10,000 dollar piece of exercise equipment you are sitting at, leaving butt juice all over while you ask about somebodies pet hamster.  Dammit!!!!  I am not the only one either.  I was talking to a guy tonight and he said "I C U 2!"


  1. hahahaha!!! You said "butt juice"

    ..I C U... have not doubt, I C U!

    Saw something the other day that said "If you still look good after your workout, you're not doing it right!"

    I can't really say much about this whole thing, I need to get my "butt juice" in the gym to begin with! ... then, I will be satisfied! ;)

    1. To quote Rob's great character from the Waterboy; "Jew kan du et!" Go, get yourself to the gym!