The doctor does not trust you ........

.......... with his money.

Today I awoke to a serious rash from head to toe and my gums are swollen and HURT. I am not new to skin issues, but this itchy thing of unknown origin somewhat shocked me. I decide I need to seek the help of an expert. My wife calls and makes me an appointment in Laurel, approximately 30 minutes away.

Off to work I go, only to leave 45 minutes later for the journey. It is a gorgeous day and the ride is as well. I am wondering if it is Chimaira's "The Infection" Cd slamming out of my sub woofers or the tires, causing the whole SUV to shake and vibrate.  I glance down and see 224152 on the odometer, no wonder.  I pull into the parking lot with 3 minutes to spare.

I walk into the office and my heart starts to race, this place is FULL not even a chair to spare and one guy leaned up against the wall.  How are they ever going to see me  at 9:30 today?  Hell, will I still be here tomorrow?  I walk slowly to the window and wait in line.  I see a big sign that says "We no longer accept Medicaid or Medicare patients, sorry for the inconvenience."  Yeah, I sure bet you are sorry.  I hear "ma'am I need you to sign our new records and insurance policy disclaimer.  Sir, I need you to sign our new records and insurance policy disclaimer."  I get a little closer and see it, the thing that sends my heartbeat into overdrive.

A sign reading "We do not accept debit cards or credit cards of any type.  Cash or Check only.  Payment in full due at time of visit."  OMG I thought, I drove all the way here for nothing, will they see me or not, who carries cash and checks anymore?  I ask the gatekeeper, "ma'am I am a regular patient is there anyway you can bill me for this visit?"  "No sir," she replied.  "Well I didn't know anywhere on the planet did not take debit cards or credit cards now a days."  "I know how you feel, it is crazy to me too, but there is a bank right across the street with an ATM.  I will hold you appointment time if you want to drive over there and get cash."  Ah, this gatekeeper was actually the true definition of A Lady.  My heartbeat slowed, and I became calm and rational again.  I ventured out into the parking lot to begin another adventure....... into the concreted wilderness.