Sunday, September 4, 2011

A letter for a friend.

Someone said to me once "You are an amazing person....  I read the way you talk about your family..... the passion... the love.. it gives me hope..... Sometimes you write so beautifully...... Tell wonderful stories ..... People think I am crazy and sometimes I scare them because am very foreward and I want to tell them how I feel.....I hope you don't run away from me.... if you don't respond I will understand, thank you for sharing your life with us, etc."  I just blushed, turned bright red, and sat there staring at my computer.  I literally was speechless.  It made me feel strangely good.  No one other than my wife,  has ever complimented me like that, let alone someone I have never even met before.  I though "This is nuts, maybe I do know her and this is a test of some kind.  Maybe she is coming on to me and I am just too stupid to know it.  I wonder if she is in a nut house or something.  Normal people just don't act like that."

Then it hit me *BAM* like a oversized cooking pear right between the eyes (boi there is another story).  I am not like anybody else I know.  I don't even know what normal is and have never tried to "be" any thing in particular. We may share a lot in common, but not like this.  She some how got what I said.  There is a big difference between reading and comprehending or reading it and closing you eyes and feeling like you were there, you lived it with them.  How many people can you tell "I had to slay a dragon last night" and they would smile and completely understand?

I know, I know.  So Jam, what the fuck is your point?  I wrote her back that day, and do several times a week.  Not many people's lives do I actaully care about, not many at all.  Yet if I do not hear from her for a while, I tend to worry.

That night I thought and thought about what she had said and I came to a realization.  We don't tell people what we think about them very often, if at all.  We are quick to criticize, but not compliment.   Many times we wait til it is too late to confess our feelings.  So I did something.  I got on facebook and I wrote to someone "You and your husband are the strongest people I have ever known....... I have always looked up to you...."  The next morning I sat down first thing at work and wrote to someone else "I know I have never told you this, but I have always respected you and am very proud of your service to our country. ......."  The next one was "I am tired of all this petty bullshit, we were once the best of friends and we need to put all that shit behind us and get back on track....."   Another was on an anonomyous forum, "I admire how you can put my feelings into words in ways that I juast can't."  I have gotten very positive responces back.

She changed the very core of how I think about people.  It is not that I didn't respect, honor, or cherish them, no not at all.  I did and I do.  She made me realize that it is perfectly ok to tell them.  They need to hear it and it is up to them as to how they take it and what they do with it.  Other than our spouses and our family, we just do not tell people what they mean to us very often, if at all.

I worte these six paragraphs for 2 reasons.  One, is that I hope people will stop and take the time to tell someone else something good.  Even if it is something small, like "You make the best coffee."  Tiny things can make someone's whole day better.  Two, is that I wanted to say thank you to the person that opened my eyes.  So, to you I say Thank You.  I am very glad you sent me that message!   

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